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Comments appear immediately on this site, but you may not get a reply for a while. The same on social media. I almost always reply to comments, messages and tweets, but sometimes not for days, or even weeks. Ditto email. I’m mental and I’ve only got the one O level (Geography, Grade C).

Send an email to schizosomething@gmail.com or use the form below.

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I was so bored one day I put my Buddha statue on top of the wardrobe just to see what it looked like. It’s very heavy. I couldn’t even be bothered removing it.

I know the Rothko poster is upside down. It’s a joke. In the UK we are still allowed to laugh at ourselves. Oh, and can someone explain to the Neasden branch of IKEA that you don’t have to be wearing a Fat is a Feminist Issue t-shirt to appreciate the Seagram Murals?

Taken with my trusty iPhone 5s, May 2019.