Say hello to my cat, Schizo.
Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity,
For he’s a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity.
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square-
But when a crimes committed, then Macavity’s not there!
Most nights of the week I’m woken up by a crash or bang. I have to get out of bed and pad around the flat looking for the damage, but whatever has been smashed or broken, Schizo will be elsewhere.
He was originally going to be called Schizophrenic Petal, which I thought was an outstanding name for a cat. Petal for short. But then I found out that he was indeed a he – previously I thought he was a she. I thought of calling him Petal, but that wouldn’t help his gender dysphoria so he became Schizo.
I hadn’t really thought through the consequences of naming a cat Schizo until I took him to the vet. It’s unnerving having a nurse put her head around the door and shout Schizo into a startled waiting room.
Featured image: Schizo trying to be cute. Taken in my flat with my iPhone, October 2017.