The Schizosomething Reading Kit™

Over the past few days, the Schizosomething Reading Kit™ has been deployed to full effect in St James’s Park. It feels like we’ve had a long hot Summer and it’s not even the end of April. I was praying that the weather would hold so I could continue to loll about in the sun reading all day, but the forecast says we’re going back to typical April showers.

Regrettably, utilising the Schizosomething Reading Kit™ is about all I have been able to manage. Updating this blog has been way beyond me, though this probably doesn’t matter. I looked at my WordPress stats earlier. I’m taking talking to yourself to a whole new level.

I’m working on a post entitled Wankergram, as when I’m not reading, I divide my time between calling myself a wanker and aimlessly scrolling through Instagram. The problem is, Instagram is so preoccupying. Just keeping up with Alexa Chung is a full-time job. There’s @alexachung, @alexachungstagram and @alexchungaesthetic, along with many other fan sites. I know she’s famously not just a pretty face, but how does this woman find the time to design her frocks?

I really need to cease beating myself up. Did I mention I did a course on mindfulness at the London Buddhist Centre in Bethnal Green? The monk said you improve your mental health by filling yourself with loving kindness, not by calling yourself a cunt. Well, they may have not been his exact words, but the sentiment was pretty much the same.

This is a brief post for people who haven’t been checking my pulse on Instagram or Twitter. I plan to complete Wankergram soon. Why not sign-up to this blog by email (box to the left)? I can absolutely guarantee that you won’t be bombarded.

Featured image

The Schizosomething Reading Kit™. Photo taken with my iPhone at my favourite reading spot in St James’s Park, April 2018.


2 thoughts on “The Schizosomething Reading Kit™

  1. Thank you for this update.
    I think the reason why some people are able to do this sort of things is because they have a court, if you will, of people who do these sorts of things for them behind the scenes.

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