Welcome to Schizosomething

Please note that unfortunately, I am not my Instagram account. I’m not as functional as I may appear, which is why it can take me a while to reply to comments, tweets, emails etc.

I am an art & literature-loving schizo. An unemployed, severely mood disordered psychotic former rough sleeper, who lives in a council bedsit and has one O level (Geography, Grade C).

Unofficial patient history

He/him. 55. London.

I have Schizoaffective Disorder (a combination of Schizophrenia & Bipolar Disorder) and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

I experience ultra ultra rapid mood cycling (also referred to as ultradian mood cycling). My moods change markedly throughout the day, mostly tending towards elation/euphoria. Medication has no effect on me.

Most days, a number of times, I will believe that people are listening to my thoughts, and trying to insert a force called sonic into my head.

I experience visual hallucinations scattered throughout most days.

I have severe eisoptrophobia and scopophobia. I can’t look in mirrors or be photographed without feeling anxiety, panic and physically sick. It’s hard to put into words, but I don’t like the idea of being known to exist.

Otherwise, I’m perfectly normal.

Obligatory idées fixes include Neasden.

I have been a rough sleeper and have an impressive homelessness portfolio including Soho streets, hostels, B&Bs, Docklands derelict buildings, squats, road traffic islands (seriously), local authority temporary accommodation etc.

I now live in a council bedsit in #EarlsCourtSchizoland. That may sound grim, but the bedsit is in a beautiful quiet tree-lined street, in what is one more London’s more swanky neighbourhoods.

I fancy myself as a bit of an autodidact. More Ernest Hemingway/Frida Kahlo than Adolf Hitler.

I have been a voluntary sector playboy, writing fundraising applications for small charities and community groups.

I now do “attempted voluntary work”, through which I attempt to do things, but find it difficult to achieve much. The things I attempt are done from home, as I often can’t be relied upon to leave my flat.

Please note I’m going to punch the next person on social media who calls me a hipster: apart from being 55, I have a proud industrial working-class heritage. One of my favourite accounts on Instagram is @blackcountrytype.

Therapy

I’m undertaking various therapeutic writing/visual art projects. I’m experimenting with sound art (actually “the piece” is podcasting, but I might see if I can hustle some sort of grant).

The aim is to start putting things online from spring 2021.

Through my creativity I see myself as taking people on a journey – or for a ride, depending on how you look at it.

Artist’s statement

I am the same age as Damien Hirst, both our dads were motor mechanics (his stepdad), and in his studio, he appears to have the same bin as me from Wilko – though I have the red one.

Featured image

The view from my window, taken July 2019.